There is no pause

Life has no pause button.

There is nothing like the sheer physicality of childbirth to make make one wish for a pause button.

It wouldn’t have to be much. A simple button to press that would freeze the pain and exhaustion, give you time to make a cup of tea and have 5 minutes rest and recuperation before going back into the fray.

No such button exists, despite how much we might wish for it.

For Natalie and I, the process of having Eloise took a very long time – we were awake for almost 48 hours. During the process, I remember wishing for a pause button – something that could give Natalie a break for a few minutes and let her get some rest. I also remember realising that this was impossible. We were committed and there would be no rest. It was a fact of life that Natalie and I (mostly Natalie) would have to keep enduring the fatigue and pain until Eloise was born.

It goes further than this though. By being alive we are fully committed to living life as long as that might go on. Whether or not we realise it, each day inexorably progresses without pause regardless of whether we want it to or not. Even when you feel as if you are standing still, and not going anywhere, you are still moving. Life is persistent and omnipresent.

There is no pause.